Saturday, March 29, 2008
you know if i wasn't having a cough and keeping to my latest attempt to watch what i eat (or rather i'm feeling large next to the world of skinny ppl), i would wallow in chocolate ice cream right now. or at least a bottle of sprite. >.<
latest idealogy that makes laura feel.. inadequate.
my social life sucks. no, wait, let me rephrase that, i am not good at making friends, i shy away from crowds although i enjoy being in large crowds to OBSERVE but not interact. i tend to judge people rather quickly but i'm seldom wrong so i dont regret my actions. for some unnatural reasons, some people have instincts to tell whether a person is a bitch.backstabber.a.general.asshole. or not. yes, i tend to go with my gut feeling so it makes me a little unpopular when the person is one of those who are 'popular'
btw it doesnt help that i am of mixed blood but yet i see myself leaning towards chinese-american-english than chinese-indian. i dont speak any indian dialects, i dont know any tradition and up to three years ago didnt know my indian ancestors' actual race. so therefore i do not hang out with the indian crowd as the language barrier (in sg makes it very challenging) dammit, we're a metropolitan city but yet most ppl are incapable of handling the damn language of ENGLISH.
okae, back to the topic. i do not have friends whom are of the shallow sort and tend to talk behind your back. actually i do but i dont call them friends. i do not believe in hanging with idiots i dont want to. which places me apart from the 'popular' ppl who just does it. sure it makes you more likeable but who's personality is that? store-bought? if so, i'd like one too.
1. hence i do not camwhore or take photos of any sort except those family kind or special occasions (christmas or CNY) or those random times when spontaneity hits me with/or my friends. many friends, and strangers, do it all the time. in fact i just saw some that they merely pursed their lips and looked scary yet cutesy-playful at the same time. beats me how they do that. and coz i dont do that, i tend to drop these friends as soon as we lose touch on those daily or weekly basis.
2. i do not have those story book kind of best friend. sure i had best friends from pre-K all the way through secondary school. but three months from graduating and i'm best-friend-less. -sighs-
i did not grow up with those best friends whom we seen since diapers. to the same kindergarten. same class in primary school until we were deemed to troublesome and split up. NADA.
i did not have the requisite gay bestie. although i did have some runner up versions in kindergarten and secondary school, primary sch being the exception since gays were not allowed in girls sch as of yet. lawls.
neither did i have the best friend who became my bf kind. firstly the first 'official' best friend turned boyfriend made me cry on our first 'date' before i got kissed. i was four then so it doesnt actually count either since i had two other boyfriends, nicholas and sohale at the same time.
hence i dont have the best friend to be there for me whenever i had problems (eg grades, bfs, parents). it's not the same for those not BFFs but come a close second behind it. you're not in their foremost mind, but they are BFs to a certain extent. so no shopping sprees. no giggly type of gossipy sessions or makeover sessions. no sleepover but actually not sleeping but talking until morn sort of things. NONE.
ugh. give me a break. if there's a third option, i hope it's equally as great as the second because i hate the first. and i look bad in photographs.
latest idealogy that makes laura feel.. inadequate.
my social life sucks. no, wait, let me rephrase that, i am not good at making friends, i shy away from crowds although i enjoy being in large crowds to OBSERVE but not interact. i tend to judge people rather quickly but i'm seldom wrong so i dont regret my actions. for some unnatural reasons, some people have instincts to tell whether a person is a bitch.backstabber.a.general.asshole. or not. yes, i tend to go with my gut feeling so it makes me a little unpopular when the person is one of those who are 'popular'
btw it doesnt help that i am of mixed blood but yet i see myself leaning towards chinese-american-english than chinese-indian. i dont speak any indian dialects, i dont know any tradition and up to three years ago didnt know my indian ancestors' actual race. so therefore i do not hang out with the indian crowd as the language barrier (in sg makes it very challenging) dammit, we're a metropolitan city but yet most ppl are incapable of handling the damn language of ENGLISH.
okae, back to the topic. i do not have friends whom are of the shallow sort and tend to talk behind your back. actually i do but i dont call them friends. i do not believe in hanging with idiots i dont want to. which places me apart from the 'popular' ppl who just does it. sure it makes you more likeable but who's personality is that? store-bought? if so, i'd like one too.
1. hence i do not camwhore or take photos of any sort except those family kind or special occasions (christmas or CNY) or those random times when spontaneity hits me with/or my friends. many friends, and strangers, do it all the time. in fact i just saw some that they merely pursed their lips and looked scary yet cutesy-playful at the same time. beats me how they do that. and coz i dont do that, i tend to drop these friends as soon as we lose touch on those daily or weekly basis.
2. i do not have those story book kind of best friend. sure i had best friends from pre-K all the way through secondary school. but three months from graduating and i'm best-friend-less. -sighs-
i did not grow up with those best friends whom we seen since diapers. to the same kindergarten. same class in primary school until we were deemed to troublesome and split up. NADA.
i did not have the requisite gay bestie. although i did have some runner up versions in kindergarten and secondary school, primary sch being the exception since gays were not allowed in girls sch as of yet. lawls.
neither did i have the best friend who became my bf kind. firstly the first 'official' best friend turned boyfriend made me cry on our first 'date' before i got kissed. i was four then so it doesnt actually count either since i had two other boyfriends, nicholas and sohale at the same time.
hence i dont have the best friend to be there for me whenever i had problems (eg grades, bfs, parents). it's not the same for those not BFFs but come a close second behind it. you're not in their foremost mind, but they are BFs to a certain extent. so no shopping sprees. no giggly type of gossipy sessions or makeover sessions. no sleepover but actually not sleeping but talking until morn sort of things. NONE.
ugh. give me a break. if there's a third option, i hope it's equally as great as the second because i hate the first. and i look bad in photographs.
what we could have been, 1:20 am.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
ermmx. yeah. went gym yesterday. MTV DANCE CLASS ROCKS! i love it so so so much. except the 'i got aches everywhere' result.heheh. but i love the dance. we learnt dance moves to janet jackson's 'feedback'. very very kewl.
met this girl. shit, i forgot her name alr. it's some Chinese name, smth-ying. =X psps. i have a really bad memory for chinese names. suying, if i'm not wrong. yeah. she's really decent. too bad we didnt really have time to talk or even say much you know? but i hope to see her next week during MTV dance.
today went to watch step up 2: the streets. really really funny. ppl, you should go watch, it is damn nice. just dont watch it at the cathay. their nachos taste weird and their popcorn is like cardboard. blech.
met this girl. shit, i forgot her name alr. it's some Chinese name, smth-ying. =X psps. i have a really bad memory for chinese names. suying, if i'm not wrong. yeah. she's really decent. too bad we didnt really have time to talk or even say much you know? but i hope to see her next week during MTV dance.
today went to watch step up 2: the streets. really really funny. ppl, you should go watch, it is damn nice. just dont watch it at the cathay. their nachos taste weird and their popcorn is like cardboard. blech.
what we could have been, 2:43 pm.
Friday, March 14, 2008
didnt go work this whole week. i think my parents are giving me a break coz my school starts on april 7. yes ppl, april 7. no, i will not be going to poly anymore. i am a proud student of SMA. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO =))
cant wait til my classes start. i hope that i will make firm friends there too coz they seem so classy glamorous, those seniors i saw. i swear, they make me nervous about being able to walk in jeans, tee and sneakers. my orientation is on april 1st. no joke. the damn april fool's day for orientation. it makes me feel a little weirded out. -.-
as much as i hate to admit it. i do miss you. it sucks la. i thought we brought our friendship up a notch from acquaintances to confidantes but as it goes so far, you have proven the same thoughtlessness i shared. the share and run issue. i thought you were different. you block me off, you ignore me. are you trying to cut me out already? at least give me a straight answer, i can handle that better..
cant wait til my classes start. i hope that i will make firm friends there too coz they seem so classy glamorous, those seniors i saw. i swear, they make me nervous about being able to walk in jeans, tee and sneakers. my orientation is on april 1st. no joke. the damn april fool's day for orientation. it makes me feel a little weirded out. -.-
as much as i hate to admit it. i do miss you. it sucks la. i thought we brought our friendship up a notch from acquaintances to confidantes but as it goes so far, you have proven the same thoughtlessness i shared. the share and run issue. i thought you were different. you block me off, you ignore me. are you trying to cut me out already? at least give me a straight answer, i can handle that better..
what we could have been, 12:10 pm.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
okae. this is a quick update from ... the last time i blog. heh. really bored at home. really bored at work. mostly work. but then again, it's the only time i get any social stimulation aside from interacting with ppl online or watching my bf and siblings tease-argue with one another, me included by the way.
so the rest of the peeps are having school holiday and my body can tell without my mind. why? because it's this damn curse (i swear, it has to be a curse) as i get sick within two or so days of an upcoming holiday. as in one week hols or mroe kind. i'm serious. my siblings are witnesses since they tend to be the one who spread it to me in the first place. -.-
so the rest of the peeps are having school holiday and my body can tell without my mind. why? because it's this damn curse (i swear, it has to be a curse) as i get sick within two or so days of an upcoming holiday. as in one week hols or mroe kind. i'm serious. my siblings are witnesses since they tend to be the one who spread it to me in the first place. -.-
what we could have been, 3:23 pm.
